But little did I know that the story would get better. Astute readers will remember that I complained about the lack of a power switch for the product, which has a power light that stays on all the time, thereby draining batteries at a remarkable rate.
Well, I was wrong. There is a power switch. But you'll never guess where! I had some time this morning to return some Christmas presents, one of which was the Strawberry Shortcrap Karaoke Set. Before taking the thing back to Toys 'R' Us, I got out a screwdriver and opened up the battery case to take out our batteries. And there it was: the power switch! Whoever made this product brilliantly decided to put the switch underneath the battery cover! This might be fine if the battery cover was easily accessible, but it's not: you have to take out a long screw, which is set in a hole in the case so narrow that none of our normal screwdrivers could fit. What a great idea!
So let's sum up the defects with this wonderful children's product:
- The microphone wires have a carcinogenic coating.
- In some versions, the tapes contain sexual lyrics clearly unsuitable for young children. Keep in mind that the suggested age for this product is three-years-old and up. We actually never got to the lyrics issue, because of the next defect...
- In our special version, we couldn't play tapes because the machine kept eating them.
- The screw to the battery cover is set in a hole too narrow to reach with a normal screwdriver.
- The power switch is under the above difficult-to-remove battery cover.
- I forgot to mention this one yesterday, but there is no manual.
This is simply an amazing design accomplishment. I can see the marketing discussions now:
Lead Designer: Let's make a Karaoke set for little children!
Assistant Designer: Great idea! How about we put a cheap carcinogenic coating on the microphone wires?
Lead Designer: Humm, I'm not sure. Parents might not go for us killing their kids.
Assistant Designer: Oh, ok, perhaps we could distract them, then! We'll add a mini-game called "Find the Power Switch!" We can put the switch in a difficult to access place, then not include any manual in the box! Parents will be so busy trying to figure out how to turn the thing off that they'll never notice their kids' brain tumors!
Lead Designer: Brilliant! And we'll save money on the manual that way as well! I like it. Now, what about music?
Assistant Designer: Humm, sex sells, so how about provocative, suggestive music about fornication?
Lead Designer: Great point! That way parents can play with it after their kids go to sleep! It'll be an overnight sensation, this year's hot Christmas item! Oh, but wait, the religous right might get a bit ticked off.
Assistant Designer: Humm. Well, we could make the cassette player eat any tape you put into it! That way no one would ever hear the lyrics!
Lead Designer: Brilliant! Let's run with it. Get started right away.
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